Next week, this will be my Cow Suit Saturday attire. I’ll
have a cape! I’ll be a hero! I wish it
were that simple.
I’ll be spending my day around dozens of middle schoolers working
math problems while their coaches cheer them on. Area engineers and other STEM professionals
volunteer to grade, proctor and judge their work. Sounds like a whole room of heroes to me.
Middle schoolers are my favorite crowd to cow around. They
can always use a hero—a friendly personality who makes them feel confident, safe
and precious. I remember those awkward
and vulnerable moments like yesterday. (I
think I had some yesterday, actually.) The Cow-culator can set a room full of
freckle-faced mathletes at ease. It’s easy because their smiles are so swift
and so genuine.
Tomorrow I’m going to cow in one of America’s largest cities.
Alone. And I’m feeling... a lot. I’m nervous. I suppose I’m a little scared. I
feel silly. Ridiculous. Childish. Stupid. Uncertain. The more I think about it…it’s
a terrible idea. I should work on writing a column about Mathletes. Or pay bills.
Or do sit-ups. If I keep going here, I’m
going to talk myself right out of it. My mom would say, “Quit working yourself
into a tizzy!”
Indeed. I just need a little courage. A little reframing. A
little visualization to set one hoof in front of the other and goooooo! It seems foolish and selfish that I am
inventing something to summon courage for when there are so many people that
face real things that need real courage.
Although, if I invent dragons to slay and I am successful,
maybe I’ll have the courage to slay the real ones. Sometimes it’s hard to distinguish real ones from the invented. Maybe someone will
see me slay my self-imposed dragon and it will inspire them to slay a few of
their own. Maybe someone will think I’m
a hero. How much of this is about me? How much of this is about others? I can’t
be anyone’s hero until I am my own.
At times, we are our own lone heroes. That heroic will and the courage come from
within because they have to, but sometimes they come quicker knowing there are
other dragon slayers…and cows out there.
Tomorrow was originally a challenge from a new friend. When
I asked her to cow with me some day, she talked of insecurities and discomfort.
As we chatted she issued an assignment in exchange for a cowing adventure with
her. And I gotta say…it’s something that scares the heck out of me. “Isn’t cowing
about stretching boundaries?” she quipped.
Moouché. This one is a doozy.As I visualize and recall all of the wonderful cowing experiences, I know I’ll gain something tomorrow that I haven’t even considered. A lot of tomorrow, though, will be very much about this woman and accepting her challenge. It’ll be like me taking a bite of the pureed peas to show the toddler, “Yum! See? Now you take a bite.” Maybe not peas. Cowing is more like cup cakes.
I’ll say it again…the smiles I see and feel are bliss. Every time I’ve been in the cow suit, they make me love this world all over again. I’ll be darned…the cow suit does make me a hero. And I don’t even need a cape. But tomorrow a little courage would be nice.
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