Saturday, July 27, 2013

Friends For-Ev-Verrrr

The only reason to ever put a picture this unflattering on the internet is when it’s your practical-joking friend's birthday and she looks as ridiculous as you do. She’s older than I but maintains a youthfulness from which this ole heifer could learn.
I met Erin my freshman year of college when I walked on the volleyball team and she was on the basketball team. She was the smiliest person around then, and I’m sure she still is.
She was significant in my college years in honing the child-like facets of my adult personality. Our antics wore on people who didn’t have the same sense of humor. Their loss.
This picture was taken in the late 90’s when Erin came to visit from Washington. I wanted a nice normal picture of us smiling at the camera, and Erin goes for my udders. Gasp! Where are your manners!?!
I thought I was clever in picking her up from the Pocatello airport in my cow suit. It was a test of guts because while I was driving, I could see people pointing and laughing at my missing horn. Meanies.
As I waited in the airport—I swear she was the last to deplane—I heard a few comments from her fellow passengers like, “Gee. I bet that’s her ride.” And then… I saw THIS walking toward me. She changed into this outfit mid-flight. It was always a test of “who’s foolin who” with us, and she always won. I threw up the white flag often because…well look at her…no boundaries. I engaged in the tomfoolery a bit, though.
Once after a bunch of us wisely opted to not drive home the night before, I threw some bacon on her while she was sleeping to get the dogs to wake her up. I didn’t ever do that again. But I thought about it.
Once she forged a letter from ISU’s academic affairs threatening my scholarship after we’d engaged in a slightly delinquint practical joke on campus. She had the letter delivered at the beginning of a volleyball practice and as I was near vomiting during our warm-ups, I heard her giggling at the top of the gym’s bleachers.
Once I left a message on her parents answering machine as though I was a woman whose car she hit in a parking lot. I thanked her profusely for leaving her name, number and insurance information. This was her parents house over the summer. I had to apologize to Erin’s dad for his increased blood pressure that weekend, but his reaction made it all the better.
Once she picked me up from the airport with a mullet wig and a set of Billy Bob teeth and refused to remove them.
She helped me to loosen up and I showed her where the library was. She introduced me to the Rum Runner's “Thirsty Thursday” with $2 pitchers when she took me out the first time I got drunk at a bar. On a school night! We played rugby together, went on a couple very rainy spring breaks (I still blame her for the weather), and I got both of my tattoos with her. Whenever we talk, we pick up right where we left off with a peppering of lines from Dumb and Dumber, The Sandlot, and A League of Their Own.
Erin will be one of my best friends For-Ev-Verrrr.  Stillwell Angel, have another chocolate bar and Erin—have a happy birthday!!


  1. I have to say I am loving your blog. It makes me smile.

  2. Yessssss! 'tis what it's all about. I coulda used to wear one today.